Nobody said it was easy…

12 Aug

Hiii there babes!

Alright I must be honest with you, I’m feeling a bit down and out today. Maybe its because its been raining all day, or because I’ve been extremely lethargic for the past week and I don’t know why. My mind feels awake but my body says “Nooo, picking up your legs is far too hard right now”. Its so weird, I HATE feeling this lazy for this long but my body hurts. I feel like I’m draggin my little booty all over town with no actual desire to move. Oyy.

Anywho, my eats the past few days definitly have not helped my cause in the least. I am actually a little embarrased to share with you the food I’ve eaten in the past few days because its hasn’t been very nutritious and eaten mostly out of boredom with hardly an ounce of will power. BUT, as I said in my about me section-my struggles with over/emotional eating ARE a problem for me and sharing my problems openly and honestly are only going to force me to deal with them-which I NEED to do. The more I ignore days like this and get stuck in a never ending cycle of guilt-more emotional eating-more guilt etc. the more I feel awful about myself (not to mention the belly aches :/ ) Yes, I may be “thin and/or normal” looking to other people and my struggles may feel like complaints sometimes but WE are the ONLY people who knows EXACTLY what if feels like to be in our bodies. NO ONE else can feel what we feel. And i KNOW that right now I do not feel postive and healthy about my eating habits.

So with that said, I’m going to do my best to put my guilt and embarrasment aside for this post and share with you some eats (from my phone camera-sry!) and the newest book I’m reading to help me tune more into my natural body cues and MINDFUL eating.

For starters…

its a serious love/hate relationship with these babies

 I bought the bag yesterday…and I kid you not there are about 15 chips left in that bag. THAT is a problem. Going to the pantry for a serving with lunch is fine, in fact its a delicious. But not having lunch and eating half the bag and then a reeses dark chocolate peanut butter cup is NOT fine. (embarrased 😦 ) so many calories, hardly any nutrition and a serious guilt trip after that.

lots and lots of these

 GRAPES. perhaps one of my favorite fruits-and one of the ONLY fruits I’ve had all day…also NOT okay. Munched on these with breakfast and throughout the day.

Drank this as part of breakfast. Really yummy with protein but A LOT of suggaa.

the PB palace.

 Danger*zone of deliciousness. I’ve probably eaten 3 servings of the Cinnamion Raisin kind on 2 (unpictured) cranberry, raisin, walnut buns the size of my face.

Andddd…

A shared bowl of popcorn with my mom and some havarti cheese slices.

Not to mention a BEAUTIFUL homeade blueberry pie my Mom baked this morning. (I’ll post a picture of it tomorrow!) Oy vey.

Ummm…quick question, WHAT is wrong with me?? Its like 6pm and it should be time for a healthful dinner but I’m not even hungry because of all the damage Ive done to my mind and body today with food. I spent so much of my life restricting food and now i’m overdoing it. Im so frustrated and really embarrased. Eeek.

Does anyone else have day(s) like this? Or moments like these? Where food becomes more then just nutrients to fill our bodies with? Im very unhappy with myself today and know I need to put my concerns into God, but its harder then it seems when you already feel down.

Anyway-enough of this debbie downer post, sry for being such a bag bloggie today. If youre still reading this far-GOD BLESS YOU!!!

Any advice or inspiration would be greatly appreciated!

“I count him brave who overcomes his desires more than

him who conquers his enemies, for the hardest victory is the victory over self.” -Aristotle

ps CANNOT wait to see this movie:

EAT.PRAY.LOVE.

XOXO

Claire

 

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5 Responses to “Nobody said it was easy…”

  1. Kristin August 13, 2010 at 11:10 am #

    it’s my first time visiting your blog and i love it already. i can COMPLETELY relate to this post…i struggle with this AT LEAST once a week. it’s so exhausting and frustrating. feel free to e-mail me any time 🙂 thank you so much for your honesty and for showing people that they are not the only one struggling.

  2. Shelley (findinghappinessandhealth) August 13, 2010 at 6:15 pm #

    don’t feel embarrassed about your eats- honestly, we all have our times. Just take care of yourself- your happiness is the number 1 priority 🙂 & ahh yessss those pita chips- soo good but i could honestly eat the whole bag in one sitting! so addicting.

    xoxoxox

  3. erinsloves August 14, 2010 at 8:40 pm #

    You are definitely not the only one who feels like this girl, today was seriously ridiculous for me, I mindlessly ate all day, and had Papa Johns pizza for dinner. After dinner, even though I was full- I made a cake w/ the most obnoxious sugary icing, and basically made myself sick from licking cake batter off of the spoon.
    I felt so crappy afterwards, I threw away the whole cake so I wouldn’t be tempted to eat it again, and am now sulking lol.
    No shame girl!!!

  4. Balance is Beauty August 15, 2010 at 6:03 pm #

    Thanks for your comment earlier! I can not WAIT to see this movie either. I’m halfway done with the book and the underlying theme of the book (balance) definitely seems to fit both our missions in life right now…The opening part of this post definitely described how I have been feeling this week too, hopefully we can both find some energy this upcoming week. About feeling embarassed…dont. I’m pretty sure everyone can relate to this post, I know I sure can. It’s ok to have days where you overdo it, just enjoy it, dont feel guilty, and return to a more “balanced” you the next day. I lived with eating guilt for too long and completely understand the feeling. Sometimes you just have one of those bottomless pit kind of days…don’t feel guilty! Just use days like this as fuel to get back on track to a healthy/balanced way of eating. Indulging every now and then is good for the soul 🙂

    • thebeautifulbalance August 15, 2010 at 10:47 pm #

      Thank you so much for your kind words and checking out my blog! Your comment made me smile=] Let me know how you like the movie! Ithink i’m seeing it tomorrow yayy!

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